but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
