You smell like stripper and shame
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
