dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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