I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
