you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
