glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
