Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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