i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
