Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
