"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Screwed.edu
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
