An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
