You really coming over, don't trick.
I just cut my nipple shaving
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
