you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
