I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The best revenge is premature balding
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
