i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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