How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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