On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
