dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
