it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think i have two assholes
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
