yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
