if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
