When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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