Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
