Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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