I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I intend to get homeless drunk
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
