I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
