Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
