i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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