I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize