Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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