I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
