Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
