I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
