Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
