My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
