with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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