Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize