What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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