Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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