I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
