Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
