everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
