Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
