she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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