in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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