I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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