goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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