Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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