I think i sorta joined a cult last night
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
