I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
