All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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