waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Houston, we have a squirter
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
