I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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