Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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