And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
