I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
