I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
