5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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