Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
