she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just had sex on a roof
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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