we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
