yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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