Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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