I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
